It is hard to believe that the Christmas holidays are over and school is returning. Depending on the school, some students returned on Wednesday (27th January) and some will be returning Monday (1st February) - whilst our littlest ones have varying dates this coming week.
I was talking to a Year 7 parent the other day as their son was commencing high school. Both Mum and Dad were looking more nervous than their son exclaiming "He doesn't know anyone else here". After some small talk, I reminded them of the importance of falling down ..... because it is the only way we learn to get up. The conversation that followed was quite uplifting as they reminded themselves of the challenges they had faced as teenagers ..... and that their was no one there to do it for them ..... they had to fend for themselves .... and they did! Just like the challenges of the Snakes and Ladders game, there were pitfalls ... but just around the corner was another ladder that moved them forward .... and they always had the roll of the dice to help them keep going.
This is that timely reminder of the importance of building resilience .... and that the only way this can be done is by allowing our children to learn to solve the problems they face ..... this may include asking for your help .... no harm in that .... but jumping in before they even have a chance to think about what is ahead of them, does not do them any favours in the long run. In fact, it makes it so much harder for them.
Some of you would have heard of "helicopter parenting" where the parents are constantly hovering over their children making sure there are no mistakes made. Well in recent years other parenting styles have emerged, including:
CONCIERGE PARENT --> always there to jump in and make sure that everything is organised and ready for their son or daughter
SNOWPLOW PARENT --> always clearing the way of any hazards ..... making sure it is a smooth
ride ahead
FREE RANGE PARENT --> Basically never says NO and allows them to explore anything and everything.
Well, just like everything else there needs to be a balance .... and none of the above styles show this balance. If you were horrified (and we sincerely hope you were) by the Lori Loughlin case in the USA, then you should be horrified at the parents who bring their children's lunches up to them every day .... because their children like it warmed up!!!! And you should be horrified at the parent who writes the letters of excuses for their children to get out of homework detention!!! Or the parents who demand an essay or exam to be remarked.
If they don't fall down .... they will not learn to get back up. If the die roll lands them on a snake .... well ....
Until the next step is taken ......