I don't know how many times I have heard this phrase being acclaimed by husbands, wives, mums, dads, teachers, bosses, colleagues and even friends ..... generally in an attempt to downplay an emotional reaction of some kind that they themselves feel uncomfortable around. I hope that when you first read the heading, you felt a little uncomfortable ...... "why would a counselling site be saying that?". Well, we really want to address Mental Health Stigma ..... well at least part of it ..... that part that people believe "It's all in someone's head".
One of the greatest obstacles we have as mental health practitioners is trying to convince some people that just because you cannot see it, put a band-aid on it or take 2 panadol for it, that mental health is in fact a real thing! The fact is that I cannot think of one Mental Health concern that does not have a physical response. These responses are in fact very real ..... and yes they may start in our heads but the last time I looked, our heads, minds and brains are in fact very real. The fact is that our Physical, Mental and Emotional selves are all tied together .... with each part impacting and being impacted by, the other parts. Interestingly, when we look at any Physical Health concerns, there is generally an impact on our Mental Health. Imagine the footy player that is ruled out for the rest of the season because he tore his ACL ...... or the tennis player who sprains their wrist just before Wimbledon ...... or the 16 year old who wants to play for Liverpool and breaks his arm just before selections. The fact is that Mental Health may be "in our heads" but it is very real and not made up.
Most major sporting codes are now employing a team psychologist, counsellor or therapist. This is because they understand the importance of how all aspects of our lives are connected and that to be truly successful, happy and on the right path, we need to find the balance between all of them. How many times have we read stories about our elite athletes or our top business men/women or our politicians reporting they have had to seek support for mental health concerns. I have often wondered if there wasn't the stigma associated with mental health and they felt more comfortable accessing help earlier, would things be very different for them.
Changing this culture and eliminating the stigma, starts with each one of us individually and how we talk about it and how we react to others. It seems to be okay to say that you have had a doctors appointment or you have been to the physio or the optometrist, but watch the reaction when someone says they have been to a counsellor or a psychologist ...... it's usually a big step backwards, a cast down look and a long 'Ohhhhhhh". For some reason, we automatically think this is a sign of weakness but in fact what it is is a sign of strength and courage and conviction ..... because what they are saying is "I'm taking control", "I'm getting support to move forward", "I want my life to be better and this is the first step I am taking towards that happening". I was talking to one of my clients the other day and I asked him how difficult it was to get up that morning, get dressed and get himself to school. He replied "It was one of the most difficult things I had to do" .... I was able to reply "that took courage and strength .... an inner strength that most people never get the chance to access ..... well done". The thing is, this is the truth ..... what strength it takes to put one foot in front of the other sometimes ...... where is the stigma in that ..... we should be envious and ask them how they do it!
Here are a couple of great articles that help address this issue:
https://www.sane.org/information-stories/facts-and-guides/reducing-stigma#what-can-i-do-about-stigma
Remember, some of the strongest people you know are the ones that put up their hand and say "I need help", "I need support". Statistics show that everyone of us needs to do this at some point. The problem is that some of us leave it until it gets right on top of us. Start having the chat early.
If you need help getting on to that first rung of the ladder, maybe we need to bring the rung down ..... we can help you to do that ... give us a call or drop us a line and see what we can do to help.
Until we take that next step ......